Day 2 of install at RoCA. Had a bunch of snow yesterday, so the sculpture was covered in 6 inches of snow. The section that was done before the snowstorm was raised like a scar on the earth. or a recognizable bump. I began by shoveling the area where I wanted to insert TILES. I think I’ll call them tiles. Pavers sounds like they are meant for walking on. Segments isn’t right either. so TILES for now.
Felt great to engage in the routine that I developed in creating the RESILIECE piece the past two years: Witch Daily podcast and The Daily podcast, and then silence.
What struck me the most was that as a white woman, I am starting this project, and I am literally blinded by white. The tiles are white, the marking string is off white, the bins for the tiles are white, and the snow is blinding white. How appropriate to start this project - the part where I commit to making the images, and I start by having to acknowledge how white the world is. How I have to push the whiteness, lift it, toss it, to get to the working area below.
Chani Nicols podcase came on. Something in the planets is making for a time that basically summarizes in a different way what I am trying to do. I committ to listening to it the rest of the week each day Maybe then I can paraphrase it. . It was about this is the time to come together to build the world we want. That its connected to our deep friendships we have made in the past. Its about vision and meaning and art.
Aware of the thoughts I don’t want to engage in: This needs to teach something. I don’t know how to talk about racism. I have to be careful talking to white people. I may never show if I acknowledge that this is about my whiteness and I don’t have a lesson. I don’t know what I am supposed to talk about. Who the hell am I to talk about race? I don’t want to endanger black people, or make them angry. Who am I to ask to do a black portrait on the earth?
My response to those thoughts: This is about processing what I am learning. The work will change as I do, and that is what I am looking for. Teaching implies I know something someone else doesn’t. This is my whiteness showing up. Just keep going Kris. This is about being in the world. This is for my black friends in Racism Group, to show up the way I do, as an artist. This is about figuring out what the world as a white woman.