I WAS USED...

I was used. I think it was by something bigger and better and intentional than I am aware of.

I got a permanent order of protection this week, which has the normal physical barriers. This one has added points that include SOCIAL MEDIA. I actually got an order of protection that includes social media harrassment, in more than one bullet point to! It covers sooooo much.

This was not easy. I made a lot of mistakes. Looking back, each mistake made the case stronger. It was like I was meant to fail to get it right.

My daughter broke up with her boyfriend 18 months ago. The boy immediately figured out her email passord and took control of her emails and all social media accounts connected with it. And he made it known he was in control. It was disgusting.

First time I went to ask for help, I brought my child (who the order really protects) to the court. I did not want to get a lawyer. I did not want to put my daughter through defending herself. I did not want to put my daughter in a place where she had to defend herself with the boy in the room. I kept showing up to court without a lawyer and without my child. The case got connected to something big the other child had done, so there were a lot of people in the room to protect and hold the other child accountable. I ended up praying that what I did was enough, and the other child would stop.

My local police said I could try to get order of protection, but they don’t cover social media. And that was this other child’s medium. I was fucked. I could not protect my child.

The other child did not stop. I went back to get a temporary order. I got it. And then I missed the court date, so I lost it.

September… other child was at it again, on social media harrassing my daughter. Went and filed a temporary order of protection. This time, it was set up so that it was me against the child. My daughter could have a lawyer represent her.

I got a lawyer. I really really did not want to. It felt really powerless to have to ask a lawyer for help to protect my child. I had to find the money, not knowing how much it was going to cost in the end to go through a system I knew nothing about. It was a sign that things were really, really bad.

And this past Monday, I got it. An order of protection that clearly, several times covers social media. It was made clear in court, that if its violated, there is no conversation, there is no hearing. If broken, the consequence is 6 months in prison.

It breaks my heart that the consequence is so life altering. Yet, my child is protected for 1 year. One sweet year is a lot for a teen. And then we see again.

The part that takes my breath away, is that the third time, the judge slowed down, and that is where the language was created to include social media. That was the ground breaking moment. Once that was in place, others had to show up, had to do their jobs, fight, but the moment I was part of something bigger than me or my child was in September. I didn’t see it until 5 months later.