Recently, I went outside. I got vaccinated. A lot of us did. It was safe to go outside.
We hibernated for over a year. And we had faith that Spring would come and we could come out and be with each other.
I got to do it as an artist at a plein air event where I got to experiment with nature as my collaborator.
One of the things that came out in my art, that I am thinking about is how we connect.
Below is a photo from the event that reflects how I feel right now.
Yellow strings, parallel, tension loaded from the right. Orange strings, straight, pulling from from the left. The tree, upright, strong holding it all together. The string records the hands that wrapped around the tree. Each string connects back to itself in a knot. The tails of each knot hang and intertwine. A red string falls from above. Seeds from the tree fall on the tightened strings, creating a softness to the tension.
I was only touched by 3 people for a year. My presence and role in their lives was made very clear. I am mother and wife. II connected to others through screens - color and light from my computer screen.
There was a strength I connected with this past year - a strength from the earth. I felt like a tree - aware of others, but able to only touch those closest to me. My strength came from my presence.
The strings feel like my love for my other humans going through this. We were tied to each other, just in a new way.
The knots: there are parts of me I would like to smooth out, but they show up as knots in my relationships. ever present bumps that hold us together. There are knots I want to straighten out in others to make life easier for me. It is those knots that hold us togehter somehow.
There is a string on the left, its tail was never pulled out. there is a softness in that knot. It can be undone with some ease. There is a tenderness in that string. It has a softening, It is a place to start.
The colors are soft yet saturated. They are present, garish, yet there is a softness when really looked at. A lot like my inner voices. A lot like my voice with those I love.
The seed strings, nature’s collaboration and finishing touch. Gentle, present reminding me that I made this all up. It’s all a perception of permanence.
I am not just me, I am something to other people too. And I am an artist. I make visual what is knot.
